Obituaries

Ruth was a gracious woman, inviting many into her home over the years and appreciating beauty in art, the natural world, and her fellow human beings. Full stop, Ruth loved to learn! She traveled widely and brought a curiosity to hearing about the lives of others outside her own experience. Ruth was a devout Christian who found solace and meaning in her faith, a faith which
carried her through many significant challenges and decisions in her life.

Ruth “most precious and special” (as lovingly called by her father) was born 14 October 1936 to the Rev Arthur and Edna (nee Brumbaugh) Ashley in Melville, Saskatchewan. She grew up a decade later than her caring older siblings, Thelma (“Nin“), Arthur, Dorothy and Don. Sadly, Edna died when Ruth was only 15 months old. Ruth was loved and well taken care of by her siblings, then Mother Rose for 3 years who taught Ruth to knit, then Mother Marjorie from the age of 12. Ruth first knew Marjorie Rolfe as her Girl’s Auxiliary leader and came to deeply love her as her mother.

The family moved often for Arthur’s work as an Anglican priest and Army Chaplain. As a child, Ruth lived in Melville, Saskatoon, Prince Albert, Winnipeg, and Regina. Moving for church work ultimately became a way of life for Ruth into her adulthood.

Ruth was honored to be chosen from the National Anglican Young Women Conference (Ottawa, 1954) to represent Canada and have tea with Queen Elizabeth II in Edinburgh at age 18. She also spent part of the summer of 1955 with a Diaconal Ministries program called “The Vanners”, from England. They offered youth summer programs for the communities who received “Sunday School by Post”. Ruth was one of the first people asked to view the nearby property in Sorrento which became the Anglican Lay Training Centre, Sorrento Centre. In these young adult years, Ruth loved a young man, Lennie, who tragically died in a plane crash. She spoke about the kindness of Mother Marjorie and Arthur who met her at the Anglican Camp in Qu’Appelle, SK to share this news.

Ruth was a student that excelled, attending university at age 16. She earned her BA and teaching certificate from the University of Saskatchewan, in Saskatoon. Ruth loved playing on the university’s women’s basketball team and hosting a university radio station program. She began her teaching career at Brunskill School, Saskatoon. She then taught at Garneau Elementary School, Edmonton which sadly ended with her first pregnancy. Ruth shared the story that “women’s rights progress” at the time meant you could be married and teach, but you couldn’t be pregnant and teach!

During her participation in Christian university student activities, especially at Emmanuel College, Ruth met Rusty, and ‘the rest is history’. On July 25, 1959 Ruth married James Russell Brown at St Mary’s, Metchosin. They moved to Edmonton where their first child, Catherine (1960), was born the day of Rusty’s ordination to the priesthood, an exciting and disappointing day in equal measure! Shortly thereafter they moved to the growing metropolis of Drayton Valley, Alberta, at All Saint’s, where they welcomed their second child, Susan (1961). Next, Ruth & Rusty were called back to St Timothy’s parish, Edmonton, a growing community and church building season. A very happy memory for Ruth was when the ladies’ guild kindly held a tea cup party for her. No doubt many of you reading this will have enjoyed tea from her lovely collection. Colleen (1963) and Barbara (1966) joined the family before the move to St Aidan’s, Winnipeg (1966), where Michael arrived (1967) and completed the family as the long awaited boy.

In Winnipeg Ruth participated in gatherings of local mothers and children, played bridge, hosted her adult niece and family in her home for several months, washed, starched and ironed surplices for every feast day, curled hair, and had pantsuits ready when the schools finally allowed them for the girls. She had three children in diapers at any given time, and somehow managed to keep them all fed and have white gloves and dimes ready for her children’s churchgoing!

In 1974 the family moved to Edmonton for leadership at All Saints Cathedral. Ruth was thrilled to have more time with the Queen and several of the visiting Royal Family. She helped in the Billy Graham crusades, Life in the Spirit seminars, was an active member of the Cathedral Friendship Guild, and hosted guest preachers at her dinner table, including Bishop Desmond Tutu. She also worked for the Census. With her faith as center, Ruth became a member of the Order of St. Luke, Healing Ministry as well as the Lydia Fellowship.

Emmanuel & St Chad College called again in 1981 and the family returned to Saskatoon. Ruth became surrogate ‘mother’ to several seminarians. She returned to school at 50 to complete her
Masters of Divinity, where she shared classes with her daughter, Barbara, who was also studying theology. Ruth excelled in pastoral care and completed additional training in hospital chaplaincy in New Mexico. Returning to the world of learning was a joy she embraced wholeheartedly.

Their final full time parish was St Michael and All Angels, Royal Oak, Victoria. Having supported her children into independence, Ruth had more time to build relationships in the wider community. The Saanich Newcomers Group, which became the Saanich Newcomers Alumnae, with its reading and walking groups was a favourite, with these relationships lasting until the present. Ruth also enjoyed lawn bowling, took watercolor painting classes, Symphony volunteering and spent precious time with longtime friends, Maureen & Trevor Wright. More regular connections with her siblings, nieces and nephews happened in these later years as well.

Speaking of family – Ruth’s grew to include, to date, 11 grandchildren and 1 great-granddaughter, Rory Eloise. She enjoyed their company enormously. Teresa was the first to receive a cross-stitch banner from her grandma. Gillian was the first to be born in a city where Ruth lived. Lucy was the first to be born overseas. Isaac was the first grandson. Myfanwy took the longest to meet her grandparents face to face. Vicky came as a package deal, as were twins Rebecca and Jasper. Brynn looks the most like her grandma. Benjamin and Matthew were born in Victoria and had the pleasure of Gma Ruth’s company most weeks through their preschool years. Many studied at UVic and often rolled down the hill for Gma’s hospitality and comfort. All were much loved, admired and encouraged by Ruth over 34 years.

Ruth would not describe herself as an adventurer but she did get around. She travelled as a young woman, with Rusty for international clergy events, for family times and independently until quite recently. She visited the UK and Europe several times, New Zealand at least 6 times, Costa Rica, Greece, Israel (where she experienced the local hospital system), Rome, Florida, and, of course, across Canada. One early memory we have is Ruth enjoying lobster on Pender Island, a rare treat when coming from the Prairies. How many years did they pack the station wagon with space for a diaper pail?! And catering for 7 plus dog(s) in a trailer. There was Chinese restaurant food for special occasions but more often homemade meals by Ruth. When there was time, Ruth was a competitive Scrabble and Bridge player, a voracious reader and a keen fan of “Murder She Wrote’.

In 2005, Ruth and Rusty separated, and she moved independently to The Orchard at St George’s church, Cadboro Bay. Living in this community and parish was the longest time Ruth had ever been in one place! She was a member of the Intercessory Prayer group, joined Centering Prayer, learned to play Mahjong and hosted grandchildren at UVic. Her long-time affiliation as an Associate with the Sisters of St John the Divine flourished and their cross was Ruth’s final clothing.

Despite some difficult health issues from the age of 50, Ruth led a robust life, facing each health challenge full-on and choosing life. Ruth offered friendship, prayer support and loving presence to many people during her life. She prioritized beauty and kindness, values learned from her parents, which were evident even through her gentle journey with dementia until her death at Sunset Lodge, Victoria, on the 7 th July 2023. A lovely care aide remarked at her death, Ruth was “a woman of faith”.

A celebration eucharist for Ruth will be held at St George’s Anglican church, Cadboro Bay, Victoria on Ruth’s birthday, Oct 14, 2023, 3 pm followed by afternoon tea in the church narthex. All are welcome.

Donations to the Sisters of St John the Divine:  https://ssjd.ca/support-us/donate/